The Year That Changed Everything: Perimenopause and the Ultimate Act of Self-Love

Choosing Myself During Perimenopause: A Journey of Burnout, Healing, and Self-Love

Today, I want to share something deeply personal that has been sitting heavy on my heart for some time. It’s a story that I believe will resonate with many of you, especially if you’re navigating the turbulent waters of perimenopause while juggling the never-ending demands of life. This isn’t just a story of burnout and loss, but one of awakening, self-love, and the powerful decision to finally choose myself.

Self-Love

The Breaking Point: When Life Becomes Too Much

A few years ago, I faced one of the hardest years of my life. Like so many, I was caught in the grip of the COVID lockdowns, trying to balance everything at once—homeschooling my children, working from home, selling our family home, and living with my in-laws while buying and renovating a new house. Every day felt like a marathon, trying to keep things together when it seemed the world was falling apart. I remember thinking, How am I going to get through this?

And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, life threw me a devastating curveball—a miscarriage. That experience broke me in ways I didn’t know possible. I had given so much of myself to my family, to others, to trying to make everything work, that I hadn’t realised how much of myself I had lost in the process. I was burned out, stressed, and completely exhausted, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I had responsibilities, people counting on me, and so I pushed forward.

In hindsight, I can see now that I was deeply entrenched in perimenopause, though I didn’t recognise it at the time. The signs were all there—the sleepless nights, the unpredictable emotional swings, the rising anxiety, and a bone-deep fatigue that seemed to weigh me down. But like many women, I brushed it off. I blamed it on the stress of life, the pandemic, the overwhelming responsibilities of motherhood. I convinced myself that I just needed to push harder, to be stronger.

But that’s the thing about perimenopause. It has a way of sneaking up on you, of disguising itself as everyday stress. It creeps into your life slowly, until one day you wake up and wonder why you feel so off. You wonder why everything feels so hard, why your body isn’t cooperating, and why your emotions seem out of control. And for a while, I tried to push through, convincing myself that it was just a rough patch that would pass. But rough patches don’t last for years.

You can watch the video here

The Miscarriage: A Devastating Loss

The miscarriage was the tipping point. It wasn’t just the physical loss that hurt—it was the emotional toll that it took on me. I was already stretched thin, and this just pushed me to my breaking point. I remember sitting on the verandah at my in-laws house watching the sunset, when my husband George came out to me. I looked at him with such sadness and said "what's the point of all this?" I felt like I had failed my family, my body, and myself. The sadness, guilt, and overwhelm were suffocating. I had given so much of myself to everyone else that I had nothing left for me.

I remember crying myself to sleep, feeling like a shell of the woman I used to be. The grief of the miscarriage intertwined with the other stresses in my life, and suddenly, everything felt unbearable. It’s hard to describe the weight of it all. I was physically exhausted, mentally drained, and emotionally shattered. But like many women, I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t want to burden others with my pain, and I convinced myself that I needed to keep moving forward. After all, I had two children to care for, a house to run, and a career to maintain.

But deep down, I was crumbling. And what I didn’t realise was that the physical symptoms I was experiencing—intense fatigue, mood swings, and irregular periods—were all part of perimenopause. I was navigating a hormonal storm that was making everything feel even more overwhelming.

You can see the reel here -> https://www.instagram.com/midlifeflow/reel/DG7hqYVyiSv/ 

Perimenopause: The Unseen Struggle

What many people don’t realise is that perimenopause isn’t just about physical symptoms like hot flashes and irregular periods. It’s an emotional and mental journey as well. The fluctuating hormones can lead to mood swings, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from yourself and others. For me, it was like living in a fog—unable to see clearly, think clearly, or feel like myself.

At the time, I had no idea I was in perimenopause. Like many women, I thought it was something that would happen later, maybe in my fifties. But the truth is, perimenopause can start in your late thirties or early forties, and it can last for years. The symptoms can be subtle at first, but over time, they can become more pronounced and disruptive.

Looking back, I can see that the signs were there all along—the sleepless nights, the fatigue that no amount of rest could fix, the emotional rollercoaster that left me feeling overwhelmed one minute and numb the next. But I didn’t make the connection. I thought it was just life—the stress of being a working mom, the pressures of the pandemic, and the weight of the miscarriage. I didn’t realise that my body was trying to tell me something.

The Turning Point: A Family Trip That Changed Everything

It wasn’t until we took a family trip to Portugal in 2023 that I had a moment of clarity. For the first time in what felt like years, I slowed down. I stopped trying to juggle everything and everyone, and I allowed myself to just be. And in that stillness, all the emotions I had been suppressing came rushing to the surface—the guilt, the sadness, the overwhelm. It was like a dam had broken, and I could no longer ignore how broken I felt.

I remember sitting on the beach one evening, watching the waves crash against the shore, and feeling this overwhelming sense of grief. Not just for the miscarriage, but for myself. For the woman I had been before the stress, the burnout, and the perimenopause. I realised that I had been neglecting myself for far too long, and that if I didn’t make a change, I was going to lose myself completely.

That was the moment I had an epiphany: If I didn’t choose myself, no one else would. I had spent so much time putting everyone else’s needs before my own that I had forgotten how to care for myself. And the truth is, no one else can make that choice for you. No one else can decide to put you first—you have to do that for yourself.

Choosing Myself: A Journey of Self-Love and Healing

Choosing myself wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It came with a lot of guilt. As women, we’re conditioned to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish. We’re taught to prioritise our families, our careers, and everyone else’s needs before our own. So when I made the decision to put myself first, it felt wrong at first. I felt guilty for not being “supermum,” for not being the woman who could do it all.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you choose yourself, you’re also choosing to be a better mother, a better partner, a better friend. You’re choosing to show up fully for the people you love because you’re taking care of yourself first.

For me, that meant making some hard decisions. One of the biggest ones was sending my children to school after three years of homeschooling. That decision didn’t come lightly. I had loved homeschooling them, but I knew that I needed the time and space to heal. I needed time to process all the trauma I had experienced over the last few years—the miscarriage, the stress, the burnout. I needed time to rest, recharge, and reconnect with myself.

The Importance of Self-Care During Perimenopause

Perimenopause is a challenging time for many women. It’s a period of transition, both physically and emotionally, and it can be overwhelming to navigate. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to go through it alone, and you don’t have to suffer in silence. Self-care during perimenopause is essential. It’s not a luxury—it’s a necessity.

For me, self-care looked like giving myself permission to rest. It meant setting boundaries with my time and energy. It meant seeking support from loved ones, from therapists, and from other women who were going through the same thing. It meant learning to listen to my body, to honour its needs, and to stop pushing myself to the brink of exhaustion.

If you’re in the thick of perimenopause, I want to encourage you to do the same. Take time for yourself. Rest when you need to. Say no when you’re overwhelmed. And most importantly, give yourself permission to choose you. Because when you do, you’re not just choosing yourself—you’re choosing your health, your future, and your happiness.

The Power of Community and Support

One of the most important things I’ve learned through this journey is the power of community. When I finally opened up about my struggles with perimenopause and burnout, I was met with an outpouring of support from other women who had been through the same thing. I realised that I wasn’t alone in this journey, and that made all the difference.

If you’re going through perimenopause, I want you to know that you’re not alone either. There is a whole community of women who understand what you’re going through, who can offer support, advice, and encouragement. Don’t be afraid to reach out, to ask for help, and to share your story. Because when we come together, we become stronger.

Here's to us warriors...

Pick your platform and follow for daily posts:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/midlifeflow  

Tiktok:https://www.tiktok.com/@midlifeflow

YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@LizaSchizas