"I'm Tired of Putting Everyone Else First:" How to Finally Start Training for That Big Dream You've Been Talking About for Years

What happens when a woman over 40 decides she's done being last on her own list - and actually does something about it.

I landed back from our family holiday to Italy and Greece July 2025, unpacked everyone's suitcases (but not my own), restocked the fridge, and caught up on three weeks of emails. Classic mum duties. But something had shifted during those two weeks of watching my family explore ancient paths and new cities.

I'd been talking about the Camino de Santiago for almost three years. Three years of "maybe next year" and "when the kids are older" and "when work calms down."

Laying in bed 10 PM, finally reading a book while everyone else slept, I had a moment of crystal clarity: I was tired. Bone-deep tired of putting everyone else's dreams, schedules, and needs ahead of my own.

That night, I didn't just think about the Camino. I decided I was going to do it. May 2026. Solo. 800 kilometers across Spain, just me and my thoughts and whatever strength I could build between now and then.

Three weeks ago, I was crushing my training schedule. Daily walks, consistent strength sessions, even managing those 5 AM wake-ups before the kids stirred. Then the flu hit. As I write this, I'm on day five of tissues and cancelled workouts, watching my carefully planned Camino prep slip away. And guess what? School holidays start in two weeks.

But here's what I've learned: your big dream doesn't wait for perfect conditions. And neither should you.

If you're a woman over 40 who's tired of being last on your own priority list, if you've been talking about that thing for months or years but keep finding excuses, if perimenopause has made your body feel like a stranger - this post is your permission slip to finally begin.

Why Your "Camino" Matters More Than Ever in Perimenopause

Your Camino doesn't have to be an actual 800km walk across Spain (though if it is, I'm cheering you on). It's that thing you've been putting off - the adventure that scares and excites you in equal measure. The goal that makes you feel like you again, not just someone's mum or the woman who manages everyone else's life.

During perimenopause, when our bodies feel foreign and our energy unpredictable, having a big goal becomes both harder and more essential. It gives us something to train for beyond just "getting through the day."

The research backs this up: Regular strength training during perimenopause decreases symptoms, improves bone density and protects against muscle loss. Walking and aerobic activity improve sleep quality for midlife women when appropriately dosed. But here's the kicker - it has to be sustainable for your actual life, not the life you think you should have.

The Reality Check: Training When Life Keeps Happening

Let me be honest about what training for a big goal looks like when you're over 40:

Week 1: You're unstoppable. Morning walks, strength sessions, meal prep — you've got this.

Week 3: Hot flashes wake you at 3 AM. You're exhausted but push through anyway because "consistency."

Week 5: You get sick (hello, flu), or the kids get sick, or work explodes, or all three.

Week 6: You feel like you've failed before you've even started.

This is where most of us give up. But what if we planned for this reality instead of fighting it?

The Midlife Training Triad That Actually Works

After months of trial and error (and accepting that I'm not 25 anymore), I've landed on three pillars that flex with real life:

1. Walking: Your Non-Negotiable Foundation

• 2 short walks per week (30-60 minutes) - these can happen while kids are at sport, during lunch breaks, or as "walking meetings"
• 1 longer walk on weekends - start at 6-8km, add 10% weekly when you feel strong
• The flu week adaptation: 10-minute gentle walks when I felt human enough

2. Strength: Protecting Your Future Self

• 2 sessions per week (30-40 minutes max) - full body, emphasis on legs and core
• Focus on functional movements: squats, lunges, deadlifts, single-leg balance, planks
• The school holiday hack: bodyweight sessions in the living room while kids watch Netflix

3. Mindset: The Secret Weapon

• 5 minutes daily: gratitude, intention setting, or breathing exercises
• The reality ritual: "I showed up today" counts as much as "I crushed my workout"

Working With Your Hormones, Not Against Them

Perimenopause turns your body into a mystery you have to solve daily. Some days you feel invincible; others, you can barely drag yourself off the couch. The key is tracking patterns and adjusting accordingly.

Energy-Based Training (Because Your Cycle Might Be MIA)

High-energy days:

• Schedule your longer walks or heavier strength sessions
• Fuel with carbs before and protein after
• This is when I tackle hills or try a new route

Low-energy days:

• Gentle mobility, easy walks, or restorative yoga
• Focus on magnesium-rich foods and steady protein
• Yesterday (flu day 5) was a gentle 15-minute walk to the mailbox - and that counted

Unpredictable days:

• Have a "minimum viable workout" ready - 10 minutes of movement, any movement
• Remember: something beats nothing, always

The Perimenopause Recovery Rules I Actually Follow

1. Sleep comes first. If I'm wrecked, I skip training for an extra hour of sleep.
2. Active recovery weeks every month. Cut training by 30% one week out of four (this is usually the week leading up to my bleed of my cycle).
3. Protein within 45 minutes of strength work - even if it's just a handful of nuts.
4. Track symptoms, not just workouts. My phone notes are full of "slept terribly, easy walk only" entries.

Nutrition That Supports Your Goals (Not Another Diet)

Forget complicated meal plans. When you're training for something big while managing perimenopause, nutrition needs to be simple and supportive:

Daily non-negotiables:

• Protein at every meal (20-30g) — eggs, Greek yogurt, legumes, whatever works
• Carbs around longer training sessions - oats, sweet potato, banana (and in the week leading up to your bleed of your cycle)
• Anti-inflammatory fats - olive oil, nuts, avocado
• Hydration with electrolytes on training days

What I actually eat when I'm too tired to cook:

• Scrambled eggs with spinach
• Greek yogurt with berries and nuts
• Soup with added beans or lentils
• Whatever leftovers with extra protein thrown in

The Mindset Shifts That Change Everything

Training for a big goal in midlife isn't just physical - it's about rewiring decades of "I should" thinking.

From Perfectionist to Practitioner

Old me: Missed two days? Might as well quit. New me: Missed two days? What can I do today?

From All-or-Nothing to Good Enough

Old me: 60-minute workout or it doesn't count. New me: 15 minutes of movement still moves the needle.

From Comparing to Celebrating

Old me: She's doing more/better/faster than me. New me: I'm doing more than the woman who talked herself out of starting.

Your Week-by-Week Getting Started Plan

Week 1-2: Foundation Building

• 3 walks (whatever distance feels comfortable)
• 2 strength sessions (bodyweight is fine)
• Daily 5-minute mindset practice
• Journal: How does movement make me feel?

Week 3-4: Gentle Progression

• Add 10% to your longest walk
• Introduce light weights or resistance bands
• Track energy patterns
• Journal: What's my body teaching me?

Week 5-8: Finding Your Rhythm

• Build consistency over intensity
• Add "pack test" walks (backpack with 4-6kg)
• Practice nutrition timing
• Journal: What obstacles keep showing up, and how can I plan for them?

When Life Throws Curveballs (It Will)

Right now, I'm facing two weeks of school holidays while still recovering from the flu. Old me would have seen this as training derailment. New me sees it as practice for adaptability.

My holiday strategy:

• Morning nature walks with the kids (they can scooter while I walk)
• Living room strength sessions during screen time
• Playground workouts while they play (my favourite)
• Accepting that some days will be maintenance, not progress

Your contingency planning:

• Identify your three biggest obstacles (sick kids? Work travel? Hormonal crashes?)
• Create minimum viable alternatives for each
• Remember: maintaining fitness during chaos is actually moving forward

Making This Sustainable for the Long Haul

The truth about training for big goals in midlife? It's not about peak performance - it's about consistent showing up. Here's how to make it stick:

The 3-Month Reality Check

Every quarter, honestly assess:

• What's working and what isn't?
• How are your energy patterns changing?
• What obstacles keep recurring?
• How can you adapt your plan?

Building Your Support Network

• Find your "training buddy" (even if it's virtual)
• Join communities of women doing big things at midlife
• Celebrate small wins publicly
• Ask for help with logistics (childcare for longer training sessions, meal prep support)

The Permission Slips You Need

Permission to start before you're "ready." Permission to modify any plan that doesn't fit your life. Permission to rest when your body demands it. Permission to be proud of showing up, even imperfectly.

Your Action Plan for This Week

This week's mission (start small):

1. 3 walks - two comfortable distances, one slightly longer
2. 2 strength sessions - 30 minutes max, focus on legs and core
3. Daily check-in - 5 minutes of gratitude or intention setting

Journal prompt: "What would attempting this goal teach me about myself?"

Nutrition focus: Add protein within 45 minutes of each strength session.

Mindset mantra: "I'm building the foundation for something bigger."

The Real Reason to Start Now

Your Camino - whatever it is - isn't waiting for perfect hormones, empty-nest syndrome, or ideal training conditions. It's waiting for the woman who's brave enough to begin with what she has, where she is.

Every step you take now is building the strength, confidence, and resilience you'll need when you finally say yes to that big scary wonderful thing you've been dreaming about.

The path to any great journey starts with a single step. Even if it's a flu-weakened step between school holiday chaos and perimenopausal exhaustion.

Even if it's imperfect.

Even if it's small.

Especially then.

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel to follow my Camino training journey and get weekly inspiration for creating your own bold midlife goals on Instagram. Because the best adventures happen when we stop waiting for "someday" and start training for today.

I have merch to support the journey! The Camino Shop

This week's challenge: Put on your walking shoes and step outside for 10 minutes. Most days, you'll keep going. Today, just begin.