Breaking Up with Dairy: What Really Happened When I Ditched It in Perimenopause

I didn’t always have beef with dairy. In fact, for most of my life, I was obsessed. I was that girl who added extra cheese to everything. Pizza? Double cheese. Pasta? Yes please, parmesan. And let’s not even talk about my love for chocolate milk after dinner - it was a whole thing.

But here’s the truth: dairy didn’t love me back.
And in midlife, that one-sided relationship started wreaking havoc on my body — especially my hormones.

My Wake-Up Call: From Cravings to Chaos

At first, I didn’t see the signs. I just thought I was “getting older” and “more sensitive.” I had recurring sinus issues, random sore throats, weird bloating, and PMS that seemed to get worse each month. Oh — and my periods? Heavy, painful, and so unpredictable.

Still, I clung to dairy like an old friend I didn’t want to let go of.

But one day, after another bout of shoulder bursitis and a hip that ached for no reason, I started looking deeper. That’s when I learned about histamine intolerance, gut health, and how dairy could actually be amplifying all the things I was struggling with.

And suddenly, the puzzle pieces clicked.

Cow's milk is great for baby cows...

Why Dairy Becomes a Problem in Perimenopause

Let’s break this down, because it’s not just about lactose intolerance. In perimenopause, our bodies become more sensitive to everything - especially hormonal shifts and inflammatory foods.

Here’s what you need to know:

1. Lactose Intolerance & Gut Disruption

Lactose is the sugar in milk. Many women lose the ability to digest it properly as they age - especially in perimenopause when digestive enzymes slow down. When undigested lactose hits your gut, it ferments and leads to:

• Bloating

• Gas

• Diarrhea

• Inflammation

And that gut inflammation? It can mess with your hormones, your mood, and your immune system.

2. Dairy Is High in Histamines

Some types of dairy - especially aged cheeses and fermented yoghurts - are naturally high in histamines. If your body doesn’t break histamine down properly (which is common when DAO enzyme levels drop in midlife), you might experience:

• Migraines

• Itchy skin

• Fatigue

• Anxiety

• Congestion

Estrogen, by the way, makes this worse. It amplifies histamine in the body - and that’s why some women with estrogen dominance or wild hormonal swings in perimenopause feel like they’re going mad after a cheese board.

3. Hormones in Dairy = More Hormonal Chaos

Dairy products (especially non-organic) often contain natural and synthetic hormones. These can throw off your delicate hormonal balance, leading to:

• Heavier or more painful periods

• Breast tenderness

• Bloating

• Mood swings

For me, eliminating dairy helped so much with PMS, breast pain, and that low, irritable feeling I used to get before my cycle.

What Happened When I Finally Ditched Dairy

Within a few weeks of removing dairy, I felt like someone had turned the volume down on all the drama in my body. Here’s what shifted for me:

✔️ Less bloating and no more “food baby” feeling
✔️ Migraines reduced drastically
✔️ Lighter, more regular periods
✔️ Better skin and fewer random rashes
✔️ My shoulder and hip pain actually improved (which shocked me)
✔️ More emotional stability (less rage, less weepiness, more me)

But What About Calcium?

I get it. We're told our whole lives that we need dairy for strong bones. But let me reassure you - calcium is found in so many other places, and they don’t come with the side of bloat or mood swings.

Here are my top calcium-rich, dairy-free swaps:

• Leafy greens – kale, broccoli, bok choy

• Chia and flaxseeds – add to smoothies or porridge

• Tofu – especially calcium-set tofu

• Fortified plant milks – almond, oat, soy

• Nuts – almonds and Brazil nuts

• Sardines – if you eat fish, the bones are calcium gold

And to actually absorb that calcium, make sure you’re also getting vitamin D, magnesium, and a bit of sunshine. ☀️

Check out what I eat to detoxify on YouTube

Tips to Gently Reduce or Eliminate Dairy

If you’re not ready to go cold turkey, that’s okay. Start small:

1. Switch your milk – try almond, oat, coconut, or hemp.

2. Swap your yogurt – coconut or cashew-based ones are delish.

3. Choose cheese alternatives – some are better than others, but homemade cashew cheese is a game-changer.

4. Read your labels – dairy hides in everything from crackers to protein bars.

5. Have a backup plan – carry snacks so you’re not stuck choosing between hunger or a cheese toastie.

And don’t beat yourself up if you slip up. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about listening to your body and showing up for yourself one decision at a time.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Feel Good in Your Body

If you’re navigating perimenopause and feel like your body is throwing tantrums - from migraines to mood swings - dairy could be playing a part in the chaos.

Cutting it out changed everything for me. It was like lifting a fog I didn’t even know I was living in. You don’t have to do it forever, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. But if you’re curious? Try it. Give your body a chance to show you what it feels like without it.

You might just be surprised.

👇

Have you tried cutting dairy? Thinking about it? Drop a comment - I’d love to hear your story. You’re not alone in this.