Rediscovering You: Essential Self-Care for Thriving Through Perimenopause

There’s this video of me from 2018 - my skin is glowing, I’m smiling softly, and I remember exactly how I felt in that moment: calm, cared for, me.

Fast forward a few years... and let’s just say that version of me vanished.

This is me looking after myself in 2018

After becoming a mum, self-care slowly slipped down the list. After baby number two, I held on for a bit. I still found time to move my body, eat well, take deep breaths. But then - like for so many of us - COVID hit. And then perimenopause hit. And that hit different.

I didn’t recognise myself.

Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, energetically. It was like someone hit the dimmer switch on my life. And no one really talks about that part—the quiet unraveling. How you start forgetting what it feels like to feel good.

If I could go back and sit beside that overwhelmed version of me, I’d gently take her hand and say:
You’re not doing anything wrong. You just need to start taking care of you again. Slowly. Gently. Intentionally.

Here’s what helped me come back to myself during perimenopause. These aren’t quick fixes or strict routines - just small, kind actions that started to make a big difference.

1. Sleep: My Sacred Reset Button

Let’s start with the one thing I used to sacrifice constantly: sleep. There was always something else to do - folding laundry, replying to emails, scrolling for some mental escape.

But the truth is, sleep is medicine. It’s not just rest; it’s repair.

I started creating a simple, sacred wind-down routine - nothing fancy, just consistent. Lights out by 10:00pm. No screens an hour before bed. A few pages of a book I love. Lavender oil in the diffuser. My room became my cocoon.

And something shifted. My mind slowed down. My heart softened. My sleep deepened.

Try this tonight: Choose one thing that helps you feel calm—dim the lights, sip some herbal tea, stretch for 5 minutes, read something beautiful. Protect your wind-down time like you would for your child.

2. Mindfulness: Breathing Room for My Brain

Life during perimenopause is... a lot. Hormones are shifting, emotions are high, and the mental load is never-ending. But you know what helped? Stopping. Even for a minute.

Mindfulness, for me, didn’t mean long meditation sessions on a cushion (though I love those now). It meant taking a breath before reacting. Sitting outside with a cup of tea and doing nothing. Putting my hand on my heart when the overwhelm felt too much and saying, “It’s okay. You’re doing your best.”

How to start:

• Close your eyes. Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Do that three times.

• Download a free meditation app (I love Insight Timer) and try just five minutes.

• Roll out a yoga mat and stretch while music plays. No rules. Just move.

What helped me the most? Committing to five deep breaths every morning. It grounded me before the day swept me up.

What happens when you meditate everyday for 30 days on YouTube

3. Nourishment: Eating Like I Loved Myself

When my hormones went wild, so did my cravings - and not in a fun way. I was constantly exhausted, bloated, irritable. I started looking at food not as something to control, but something to partner with.

I asked myself:

What would nourish me right now? What would help me feel more stable, more alive, more me?

Turns out, caffeine and sugar weren’t doing me any favours. Neither was skipping meals or snacking on ultra-processed stuff out of convenience.

I slowly swapped in more colourful veggies, protein-rich meals, and gut-loving fermented foods. And water - so much more water. It’s incredible how hydration alone helped my mood and energy.

I’m not perfect with it. But I try to treat my meals as moments of care now, not chaos.

Try this tomorrow: Swap one processed item for something fresh. Add greens to your plate. Sip water with lemon. Start a gentle reset, not a strict plan.

And if you want help, I highly recommend The Menopause Diet by Faye James - it’s full of hormone-supportive recipes and down-to-earth advice.

I drank a gallon a day for 7 days on YouTube

4. Movement: Reconnecting with My Body

Exercise used to be something I did to “fix” my body. Now, I move to connect with it.

During perimenopause, my energy changed. I had to stop pushing through intense workouts when my body was clearly saying “slow down.” But I didn’t stop moving—I just started tuning in.

Sometimes that meant a walk with my podcast. Sometimes it was dancing around the house with my daughters. Other days it was yoga, stretching, or strength training at home (I love a good YouTube HIIT session—there are so many great options for women over 40).

Movement became my way back to joy. Back to myself.

This week, try this: Set a 10-minute timer and do any movement that brings you pleasure. Stretch. Walk. Dance. Breathe. Let it be about feeling good, not looking a certain way.

5. Connection: Letting People In

The hardest part of perimenopause for me? Feeling like I was going through it alone.

When I finally opened up to friends, I was shocked - they were all feeling it too. The mood swings. The anxiety. The overwhelm. The “who even am I anymore” moments.

We weren’t broken. We were just midlife women doing our best in a system that doesn’t really prepare us for this.

Now I make connection a priority. A voice note to a friend. A walk-and-talk with someone I love. Being part of communities (online and in person) where I can say, “Hey, I’m struggling with this - anyone else?”

Try this today: Reach out to one woman in your life. Text her. Share this blog. Let her know she’s not alone - and neither are you.

So... What Now?

Perimenopause isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a transition to honour. It’s a chance to come home to yourself again.

And yes, it might feel hard right now. But I promise—small steps create real shifts.

Start with one thing:

• A bedtime routine that feels like a hug

• Five deep breaths in the morning

• A colourful plate of food

• A walk in the sunshine

• A heart-to-heart with someone who gets it

You don’t need to do it all. You just need to begin.

And if you want more support, sign up for my free weekly newsletter—The Midlife Flow Insider—for biohacks, recipes, and encouragement that meets you right where you are.

✨ Tell me in the comments - what’s one small step you’re taking today for yourself? You’re not alone. I’m walking this path with you.

You’ve got this.
You deserve this.
And I’m cheering you on. 💛